In the curious tapestry of life, judgement weaves itself into places we least expect. It lurks in the mundane—the washing line, the state of our homes—quietly shaping our perceptions. Yet, by unmasking judgement and embracing acceptance and gratitude, we can transform our inner landscape, cultivating a world of curiosity and awareness.
Inspired ideas and awareness can drop into your mind from anywhere at any time and when my washing line started reminding me of how judgmental I am, I thought it was probably a good idea to explore that part of myself.
I like to think I'm not very judgmental... I'm definitely curious, in fact more curious then anyone else I know. I like to know the ins and outs and deepest aspects of most things, and why people and things do what they do, but it turns out there is a different energy in curiosity than there is in judgement - and what I thought was curiosity in many instances was actually judgement. Turns out there is a fine line between them and curiosity and judgement both hold very different energies.
Judgement carries a heavy, closed energy, often rooted in criticism and separation.
Curiosity embodies a light, open energy, inviting exploration and connection; it replaces assumptions with questions, creating space for understanding and growth.
In fact that's what my washing line brought to my awareness: the difference in these energies and how I held myself almost daily in a state of judgement, frustration and confusion instead of curiosity, acceptance and gratitude.
After this gentle, loving nudge from the washing line, I realised I was in judgement of it and wanting it to be better designed instead of being grateful to even have a washing line and making the best of it - because that is what I have to work with right now - so I reframed my approach to the washing line and we now work well together (I use a secondary clothing rack if I need to beside the line and if the weather is not optimum I only use every second row).
This awareness inspired me and I began to look at other areas of my life where I had thought I was being curious and innovative, but was really being ungrateful, critical and judgmental and I found a massive shift in energy and contentment within myself and my home.
Here are some noteworthy points about judgement:
Unmasking Judgment: Beyond People to Things
Often, judgment is viewed through the lens of our interactions with others, but its reach extends beyond people to the objects and environments around us. A less than optimally functional pantry or a washing line that doesn't perform as it should may trigger a cascade of critical thoughts. These judgments, subtle yet impactful, reflect our inner dialogues and expectations. By recognizing judgment in these unexpected places, we begin to unravel its grip, opening the door to deeper self-awareness.
I have learned from my experience with my washing line that judgement is not just of others but of things too! Something I hadn't even considered until then! This awareness led to a review in all the other areas in my life I was being in judgement of (see list below).
Reframing Judgment with Curiosity
What if we could shift from judgment to curiosity? This simple yet profound transformation alters our energy, inviting exploration rather than critique. Instead of labeling the unkempt garden as a failure, we might ask, "What stories does this space hold?" Curiosity invites us to see the world with fresh eyes, fostering understanding and compassion. It is a gentle reminder that every situation, object, or person has a narrative waiting to be discovered.
Realising that judgement and curiosity may seem the same but actually stem from very different energetic roots I began to transform my judgment into the curiosity I had intended it to be. I began to feel more love, compassion and gratitude for everything in my life - and less frustration, annoyance and confusion.
The Relationship with Judgment: A Mirror to Self
Our judgments often serve as mirrors, reflecting our inner worlds, beliefs, and insecurities. They reveal the stories we tell ourselves and the standards we hold. By observing our judgments without attachment, we gain insight into our values, fears, and desires. This awareness empowers us to navigate life with greater clarity and intention, transforming judgment into a tool for self-discovery.
I kept seeing people complaining on social media all the time and it turned out those tiny voices were showing me how critical I was being instead of curious and even helpful - this compounded with the message from the washing line. While reviewing where I was judging things in my outer world I began to tune into where I was judging myself in my inner world and choices and actions. I began to notice subtle areas I'd missed before such as judgements around: tiredness, weight, heaviness, wanting my own time and space away from my daughter, etc - some things I felt guilt around as well as judgement. This awareness helped me change my perspective on these things and take better care and love of myself, especially having more compassion for myself like I do for my daughter.
The Power of Acceptance: Embracing What Is
Acceptance is the antidote to judgement. By embracing what is, we release the need to control or change, finding peace in the present moment. Acceptance does not imply resignation; instead, it is an acknowledgment of reality, freeing us from resistance. This shift enables us to move forward with grace, allowing life to unfold in its natural rhythm.
Resistance is one of the strongest energies I can feel in others because I have come to know it so well in myself. Often I think I am practicing acceptance but then another area of my life will come up to show me where I'm in judgement or resistance - at the moment it feels never ending but finally I am able to feel the difference and see how it expresses in my life - Where can you be more in acceptance?
The Grace in Gratitude: Shifting Perspective
Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for change, capable of transforming judgment into appreciation. By focusing on the blessings within our lives, we cultivate a mindset that sees abundance rather than lack. Gratitude shifts our perspective, highlighting the beauty in imperfection and the lessons in every experience. It is a gentle reminder that even the most mundane aspects of life hold potential for joy.
We began praying every night together as a family for all the wonderful things in our day to bring more awareness to the many blessings in our lives. I started to practice gratitude with everything that was frustrating me or not performing to my high expectations. This is a powerful tool for shifting the energy significantly and even helps to reveal solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems.
Uncovering Unconscious Judgment: A Path to Awareness
Much of our judgement operates unconsciously, hidden beneath layers of habit and routine. By bringing awareness to these patterns, we illuminate the shadows, inviting transformation. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, can help uncover these unconscious judgments, paving the way for a more conscious existence.
While I don't personally do regular practices like meditation or journaling anymore (I used to and it was an extremely powerful tool for processing thoughts and emotions!) I try to instead be constantly mindful of everything I think, say and do in every moment with a clear mind - a living meditation - and in doing this I can have almost instant awareness of areas of judgement and resistance and transform them immediately. But I did start this by meditation and journaling to ground my awareness into myself as a constant part of life.
Cultivating a Curious, Judgment-Free Life
Imagine a life free from the weight of judgement, where curiosity and acceptance guide your journey. This existence is not devoid of discernment but enriched by an openness to experience. By embracing curiosity, acceptance, and gratitude, we create a harmonious inner world, reflected outward in our interactions and environments.
In the dance of life, judgement may visit, but it need not linger and we don't need to entangle with it.
I even shifted my perspective on life itself try to explore everything as 'data' to inform my choices and shape my life - "I am just collecting and analysing data from a neutral perspective, learning what I like and don't like and how I would or could do it differently (creative solutions) if presented the opportunity to do so". This is also what leads to new business ideas (and I have A LOT haha).
In a practical sense here are some examples of ways I've reframed my thinking in my current rental house - things I've judged and found frustrating but used creative ways to find solutions:
Washing line: the rows are too close together
> I use every second row if needed and use a clothes racks too
No extractor for drier: we have an externally venting drier but there was nowhere to vent it
> I stuck ducting to the vent and we run it under the garage door and close the garage door on it so it's safe to use when we aren't home
Pantry too small: For a big house we have an oddly small, narrow pantry with high and deep shelving
> Using containers as drawers so I can just pull out a container to reach the items
Lights too bright: we have lots of LED downlights in our house and they are super bright
> So we use lamps with smart bulbs and can adjust the light as needed
No shade outside: this is a brand new house with no trees for natural shade (and I like shade)
> We installed a removable pergola and 2 gazebos screwed into the garden edging
Patio too bright: a bright grey concrete area reflected the sun intensely
> We put down wooden decking tiles to reduce the glare which also became a design feature
Not enough space: whilst a bigger house, it just doesn't quite fit our lifestyle
> Get rid of more stuff, create better storage and organisation solutions
No trees: compared to our old place our new place is barren
> I added artificial plants to the decor and used landscape artwork to bring nature into the white sterile interior; I imagine our wooden fence is a big tree hugging our whole property; I enjoy looking up at the expansive sky, especially at night
Every single thing in life provides us with data that shapes our present reality and future, by shaping our choices, daily decisions and how we do things. Of course there can be better and there will keep being better... that is the journey of creation! The key is acceptance in the now and doing the best with what you've got and using it as inspiration for creative solutions or shifting perspectives.
With awareness and intention, we can transform judgement into a stepping stone toward a more compassionate and joyful existence. As we navigate this journey, let us hold space for curiosity, acceptance, and gratitude, weaving a tapestry of love and understanding that enriches our lives and the world around us.
Thanks for reading.
Amanda Sears
The Inspired Guide
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