John and I are no strangers to the struggles of infertility and the emotional and physical toll it can take on you. After 5.5 years trying to conceive to full term without success, we have grown so much and can clearly see the lessons and growth God had and has planned for us. We are taking a year off trying to conceive to heal and prepare for IVF in 2020. The Nelson Magazine included us in a fertility article in their April edition where you can learn all about what we have been through... link below.
The Nelson Magazine is free to read online and contains heaps of great local content. In the April issue you can read the article about our fertility journey and share the story with others so we can get the message out there and start to normalise the discussion of these types of things.
Infertility is on the rise, along with chronic illness and many other health-related issues. It is worth knowing about the ways that you can help to reduce the anxiety and insecurity about having fertility issues, know that you are not alone in what you are feeling, as well as learn positive ways to improve the possibility of conceiving naturally through to full term by starting to make positive changes in your life now.
Suggestions to improve fertility based on my experience:
> Reduce stress: understand what is causing the stress and learn to cope with it through self-development techniques, set up boundaries or just remove it from your life. Look for the solutions not problems... there is always a silver lining in everything... read The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhaini (founder of Mindvalley) for some great tips on self-development and strategies for living a good life.
> Nourish your body with the right food and nutritional supplements: food is fuel AND medicine for our bodies. Learn what works for you and how food can heal you by reading books like Grow a New Body by Dr Alberto Villoldi or the range of Medical Medium books by Anthony William. Not all supplements are created equal so see a naturopath like Mandy Haywood to get the right ones for you.
> Love and take care of yourself!: If you don't love yourself you will struggle to find happiness in anything you do or true unconditional love in others. Watch this great talk from Marisa Peer about self-esteem. Invest in some self-care and rest when needed, get a massage, find your spiritual self and seek out various healing modalities that resonate with you (my top picks from personal experience: reiki and blue star healing with Renae Bailey, nutritional response testing by Alison Singleton, massage with Sarah from Wellness New Zealand or at Erban Spa... there are so many options in Nelson and Tasman - try them all! If money is an issue, start with Renae and then pick a different modality each month. The benefits of investing in yourself will greatly pay off in the end and there is no 'one-fix' or 'quick-fix' for healing our selves)
> Detoxify your body and soul: These days we are full of toxins from our diets, environment, household items and inherited issues... but you can cleanse these and stop them from being passed down to your future child. Cleanse out toxins in a gently and supportive way and support your liver throughout the process. Read Liver Rescue by Medical Medium for ideas on this and learn how fruit and vegetables as well as herbs can greatly support this process
> Exercise regularly: just gardening or a gentle walk is enough, if you want to do more you can but don't add extra pressure to your body if it is already exhausted... try gentle movement exercises like tai chi or certain types of yoga or even housework
> Get more fresh air and spend time in nature: nature is incredibly healing, not only because of the fresh air, but also because of the magic of the sun and the grounding you get by walking on the Earth. When I've been unable to leave the house, I just go outside and lay on the ground in the sun for 10-15 minutes and just bathe in the warm healing energy and ground myself to the earth
> Look inwards at your reasons behind wanting a child, make sure you and your partner are in alignment and that you are wanting a child for the 'right' reasons...
> Find your faith: you don't need to be religious to have faith. We all know that there is more to life than just what we see, we all know there is something greater than us out there... if you haven't started your spiritual journey, start it now with an open mind and open heart - knowing you are not alone and that you are a divine being experiencing a human existence really does help - seek out like-minded people and ask questions without judgement. Don't let fear hold you back
> Get inspired and remember to enjoy life and the journey you are on. It is ok to be sad and to rest when you need to, (and important to process these emotions in a healthy way) but don't stay in the dark... keep coming back to the light and moving forwards with love and positivity. This speech from Jim Carrey always puts a smile on my face.
Know that if you are having fertility issues, it is not because you are a failure but that God has a plan for you and maybe you have some important lessons to learn before bringing a child into the world...
And even after all of this, it is ok to have assisted fertility treatments, in some cases (like my own) it is safer to do so and I have tried to do everything I possibly can to not go down that path, but I am ready and know it is ok and feel blessed that such a service exists.
And then... if a child by birth is not to be in your life, then find other ways of experiencing this through fostering, adoption, teaching, childcare, being a nanny... there are many ways to experience parenting and caring for a child and while at the moment you want your own flesh and blood... maybe your journey is best traveled down a different but equally important and fulfilling path.
Thanks for Reading!
*Please see disclaimer on The Wellness Guide page here